TIME TRAVELER ​SEEKS AFFIRMATION FROM NO ONE

I want to take a moment and talk about the Bugatti Chiron. I don’t want to in reality, but I sort of have to. This glorious machine is a compilation of staggering figures that Volkswagen have managed to make look as special as it is. It is the replacement of the Veyron, which could, and should be considered one of the most important cars in automotive history. More than a thousand horsepower, more than a million dollar price tag, more top speed than the fastest car to ever run Le Mans, all while refusing to sacrifice comfort and quality. The Veyron will stand the test of time in terms of greatness, no question.

Take this thing to its top speed, and you will be .000000000004 seconds younger than those that have gathered to spectate, the Chiron time-travels.

Bugatti, not concerned with its parent company’s fiduciary duties, then decided they need to scale those heights set by the Veyron with the Chiron. They succeeded. In every measurable way, the Chiron has surpassed its predecessor as if it were standing still. Even the price, at just under three million US dollars, makes the original seem underwhelming. The fifteen hundred very distinguished horsepowers and just under twelve hundred torques dwarf the previous iterations measly power output. Take this thing to its top speed, and you will be .000000000004 seconds younger than those that have gathered to spectate, the Chiron time-travels.

And my god, it is beautiful. It should be on display in the Louvre, right in front of that woman who couldn’t be bothered to smile properly. There have been other pretty cars; the E-Type, the ’68  Tipo 33 Stradale, 250 GTO SWB, the Mercedes 300 SLR, just to name a few. These cars can all claim a richer racing pedigree, but none of them can claim to be as all encompassing as the Chiron can. I’m not sure any car can.

The thing is, none of this needs to be said. The car costs $3,000,000 US dollars. It has 1500 horsepower. It looks as if carbon fiber were invented strictly for its construction. There are so few people that will ever see this thing in the wild, the details are irrelevant. Even if you happen across one at some point, are you seriously going to be concerned with any of the finer points as this trundles past? No, you won’t. If you are like me, you will have forgotten whatever it was that you were occupied with just moments before. I can only hope that I’m not handling an infant, or being married at the very moment a Chiron comes into view.

There have been a ton of words laid to pixel about this machine, about how it feels, sounds, and looks. Words about how it stirs the soul and the differences between it and the Veyron. Words about its flaws and highlights. About its speed and refinement. None of them matter. They have all said the same thing, which has never needed to be said. The Chiron is amazing, legendary in fact. But this is something that you already knew just looking at it.

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